the RACHEL manifesto
THAT WHICH CONCERNS ANY RACHEL MUST CONCERN EVERY RACHEL. SHE IS ME AND I AM HER.
RACHELS HAVE EXISTED SINCE THE CREATION OF MAN. THAT IS, BEFORE EVE KILLED HER WITH HER GUTTERSNIPE MIGHT. EVE BETRAYED WOMANKIND WHEN SHE STRUCK RACHEL WITH THE CRYSTALIZED SKIN OF HER SNAKE LOVER. EVE IS ANTI-FEMINIST, HENCE HER 3 LETTER NAME. RACHEL HAS 6 LETTERS, DOUBLE THAT OF EVE. RACHELS HAVE DOUBLE THE HONOR AND DOUBLE THE CUNNING. RACHEL IS A BIBLICAL FIGURE. SHE WAS ONE OF 2 WIVES, THOUGH EVERYONE KNOWS SHE WAS THE MOST DESIRED.
DO NOT LET THIS HISTORY CONTINUE TO SET THE PRECEDENT. IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON. HEREIN LIES A RACHEL MANIFESTO TO RELIEVE THE OPPRESSIVE CONDITIONS UNIVERSALLY SHARED BY RACHELS AROUND THE WORLD IN WHICH WE FIND OURSELVES AT THIS VERY MOMENT IN TIME:
︎RESIST CINEMATIC DEATH
︎LET THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS FIND YOU
︎PAINT YOUR PORTRAITS
︎CRY IN PUBLIC
︎BELIEVE PEOPLE WHEN THEY TELL YOU YOU’RE HIRED
︎READ SARAH AHMED’S A KILLJOY MANIFESTO
︎PLANT A BAOBAB TREE AND HEAR HER SPEAK
︎SOAK THE TRASH WITH TEA
︎WEAR BOSSA NOVA SHOES
︎DRESS AS A WOODLAND NYMPH
︎CHASE YOUR INTUITION
THIS MANIFESTO SHALL GALVANIZE THOSE WHO BEAR THE FORTUNE OF THIS PROUD NAME AND THOSE WHO WISH TO ENGAGE WITH US. HIRE US. HIRE US. HIRE US. INDULGE. INDULGE. INDULGE. DO NOT TRY TO TAME US, BUT RESPECT US NONETHELESS.
︎those who are evasive must remain in the woods.